Los explicadores de chistes

     En todos los grupos de personas (barras de amigos, trabajo, cola de supermercado entre otros) siempre hay un gracioso y en algunos casos varios. Estos personajes a su vez se subdividen en grupos bien marcados: está el bromista, pesado como pocos, el rápido para poner apodos, el que hace de las anécdotas verdaderos shows, el que tiene facilidad para las imitaciones caseras, parodia al jefe, al diariero o a su primo con una facilidad increíble aunque es incapaz de imitar a Raphael y así hacer de su habilidad un trabajo y por último está el contador de chistes ese que siempre aparece, aunque sea en un velorio.  Si investigamos dentro de este subgrupo encontramos al que es sin lugar a dudas es el conjunto de gente más insoportable que existe junto con los australianos, los colectiveros y los cantantes de cumbia: los explicadores de chistes.

        El modus operandi de los explicadores de chistes es sencillo y lo siguen indefectiblemente cual asesino serial.  Primero te cuentan el chiste en cuestión, por caso el que van Chackie Chan, Chuck Norris y Van Damme en un bote a pescar y cuando deciden el lugar Chakie dice: che Chuck tirá el ancla y este le responde no, ya ancló Van Damme.  Ante la ausencia de risa no consideran en ningún momento que el cuento en cuestión es pésimo dan por hecho que no fue entendido y consecuentemente lo explican.  “Ya ancló, yan-cló Van Damme, ¿entendés?, como el nombre, yan-cló suena igual que Jean Claude,  ¿entendiste ahora?”, te repite y vos que lo comprendiste a la perfección,  caballerosamente sonreís al tiempo que pensás que el chiste es patético.  Si por el contrario te reís porque te causan mucha gracia los chistes boludos, el explicador inicia un proceso aún más insoportable: cada vez que te vea repetirá hasta el cansancio el final del chiste.  En resumen, cada vez que se cruce con vos te dirá riéndose “ya ancló Van Damme” buscando tu complicidad.

     Como en toda regla hay una excepción y en este caso hay claros ejemplos.   En alguna parte de un espectáculo, Luis Landriscina decía, antes de su sección de chistes de gallegos, que sobre los españoles había dos grandes mentiras: que todos eran gallegos y que estos eran todos brutos; esta mínima explicación previa y a su vez queda graciosa en la entonación de él espelucado contador de cuentos.  Por ejemplo yo puedo decir que el alcalde de Lepe le pintó a sus patrulleros el nombre de Julio Iglesias porque cuando fue a Inglaterra vio que los de ese país decían Police, pero si previamente no aclaro que Lepe (valga la redundancia) es una ciudad de la provincia de Huelva de la que se hacen en España los mismos chistes que en el resto del mundo se hacen sobre los españoles, el chiste carecerá de gracia para el que desconozca este detalle.  Por eso es buena una explicación previa que pone al oyente del chiste en situación y además evita interrupciones odiosas.

     Los explicadores de chistes no conciben de ninguna manera la ausencia de risa o de entendimiento.  Sus gracias tienen que provocar tu carcajada sino se frustra y si bien cada contador de cuentos persigue el mismo objetivo hay caminos bien diferentes para lograrlo.  El chiste debe entenderse por si solo, sin necesidad de repetir el final hasta que el oyente al menos mueca de sonrisa.  Si el chascarrillo es bueno o no eso lo determina la subjetividad lo importante es que una vez terminado, termine (valga la redundancia).  No me avergüenza confesar que en ocasiones no entiendo algunas bromas, pero en esa incomprensión está el desafío de entenderlo por mi mismo y me río cuando por fin lo interpreto, aunque hayan pasado horas (o días) y el contador de cuentos se haya retirado. En fin. Explicadores de chistes: a ver si de una vez y para siempre entienden que, como yo, hay muchas personas que no soportamos que otras, como ustedes, nos expliquen los chistes que no entendamos o lo que es peor, nos repitanlas gracias que si comprendimos, ad eternum.

74 se cantaron algo:

La candorosa dijo...

Los contadores de chistes, deberían ser deportados a una isla en la que convivan entre ellos, y obviamente se expliquen los chistes... ¡¡pavada de ola de suicidios de "explicadores" que habría!!! mmmuuuuuaaaajaajaaa

Con su post me reí mucho, sepaló, pues... la risa es salud.
Le agradezco la cuota de salud del día de hoy!!!

Besotes con candor


PD: Tiene usté razón, venimos en paralelo...

Nadie dijo...

Es cierto. Son insoportables.
Al igual que los pelotudos que ante chistes altamente entendibles, sin necesidad de explicación, te miran con cara de culo y te dicen: "no lo entendi".

En fin.. son peores que los que te cuentan el final de la película.

un beso, FELIZ DIA DEL AMIGO!!

r.- el corre ambulancias dijo...

y esos que te repiten el chiste, vienen a ser una variacion mas densa del explicador

ejemplifico:
entendes, el chabon se cayo, jejej

venia y se cayo, que boludo, jaaaaaaaaaa

mientras vos pensas 869.000 maneras de matarla con una hoja de lechuga

el anonimo que saluda a su vieja dijo...

¡¡Hola señor Sandro!!¿como dice que le va? sabe aquel que dice:¿por que no te reis cuando un gitano se cae de una moto? por que la moto es tuya ¡¡jua jua!! entendió por que ¿no? por que el gitano le robo la moto y entonces usted no se va rei por que se caiga de su moto,es muy bueno,algun día me agradecera aver puesto este chiste en su blog,como tambien algun día ¿me dejara contar el de los glu glu bitos?.
Bueno Sandro me despido deseandole un felíz día del amigo,un abrazo a sus queridos lectores y un saludo a mi vieja.

Sr. Verdad dijo...

sabe que el chiste de van damme me hizo reir 3 horas seguidas, soy muy boludo pero es asi.
como gracioso de grupo, odio a estos personajes.
y soy de la idea que si tenes que tener una explicacion previa como el chiste de los patrulleros, no conviene contar el cuento.
para irme dejo uno

porque steven seagal quiere ser rodilla?

porque silvester stallone (es talon! se entiende???)

Sr. M dijo...

Don Sandro ha vuelto!!!
que vagos que andamos.
Yo odio de por si a los graciosos, mas si son los que no son graciosos pero te quieren hacer creer que lo son (caso Miguel del Sel)
Y los chistes de stallone y van damme son muy buenos.

Ci Vediamo

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Para los que amamos todo para el carajo, es un blog que intenta que Pesimista Necesario vuelva a escribir... ¿Lo visitas?

El Guz dijo...

estem... no entendí el chiste...

Gab dijo...

Mi hermano es uno de esos, pero lo hace para molestar a la gente y ponerla incómoda, en sitensis en un hijo de puta.

Me alegro que hayas vuelto Robert

Gustavo dijo...

Don Roberto, si quiere le explico este:

-Papá, ¿yo soy judío o político?
-¿Por qué me preguntás eso, nene?
-Porque cuando veo en el supermercado algo que me gusta no sé si robarlo o pedir rebaja.


Un gusto, como siempre.
(Voy a ponerme al día con su blog)

Gab dijo...

Uh te re colgaste... ahora hasta que aparezca don roberrr

El Guz dijo...

Che, pasaba pa saludarte por tu cumple!

bernarda fait dijo...

Muero de risa, mueroo,

Gracias!

Roberto Sánchez dijo...

candorosa: los contadores de chistes, somos , digamos un mal necesario, siempre y cuando no los expliquemos claro....
nadie: los que no entienden los chistes te hacen convertirte en lo que tanto odias. Hola me da dos entradas para sexto sentido- si como no, son 15 mangos... ah y bruce willis está muerto. gracias
R- ambulancias: seeeeeeeeeee ganas de degollarlo con una galletita express
usuario anónimo: si usted dispone de la paciencia suficiente para contar el de los glu glu bitos en este espacio, deale que el tiempo es suyo.
sr verdad: es muy bueno el de van damme y el de los patruklleros reemplaza el pueblo por la palabra gallegos y listo. La rompi con el de stallone
sr M: soy como el diego, el mito del eterno regreso. Mataría también a del sel es detestable. Los chistes son buenisimos.
paralosqueama...: ya fui y no hay caso
El Guz: pase por casa y se lo explico pero no se olvide de sacar número...333 celeste 333 celeste 334...

salud y buenos alimentos

Roberto Sánchez dijo...

gab: su hermano es un sotreta entonces!!!me alefra su alegría
gustavo: es buenisimo, digno de usted,... deale tranquilo nomás
gab: acá taaaaaa
guz: grazie mille
bernarda fait: no se me muera acá que no tengo curitas. De nada
roberto sánchez: soy yo mismo asi que no me contesto

salud y buenos alimentos

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